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"Fred and George tried to get me to make one when I was about five. I nearly did, too, I was holding hands with Fred and everything when Dad founds us. He went mental," sid Ron, with a reminiscent gleam in his eyes. "Only time I've ever seen Dad as angry as Mum. Fred reckons his left buttock has never been the same since."
Harry: But why's she got to go to the library?
Ron: Because that's what Hermione does. When in doubt, go to the library.
"We're coming for you whether the Muggles like it or not, you can't miss the World Cup, only Mum and Dad reckon it's better if we pretend to ask their permission first. If they say yes, send Pig back with your answer pronto, and we'll come and get you at five o'clock on Sunday. If they say no, send Pig back pronto and we'll come and get you at five o'clock on Sunday anyway."
"I'll make Goyle do lines, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt, and mimed writing in midair. "I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...backside."
"Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy."
"What's up with you, Hermione?"
She was gazing out the window, but not as though she really saw it. Her eyes were unfocused and there was a frown on her face.
"Just thinking..." she said, still frowning.
"About Siri -- Snuffles?" said Harry.
"No...not exactly..." said Hermione slowly. "More...wondering...I suppose we're doing the right thing...I think....aren't we?"
Harry and Ron looked at each other.
"Well, that clears that up," said Ron. "It would have been really annoying if you hadn't explained yourself properly."
"It would've been so easy to push Malfoy off a glacier and make it look like an accident.."
"Oy, pea-brain!"
"'Slug Club,'" repeated Ron with a sneer worthy of Malfoy. "It's pathetic. Well, I hope you enjoy your party. Why don't you try hooking up with McLaggen, then Slughorn can make you King and Queen Slug--"
"Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough."
"If you're not in Gryffindor we'll disinherit you, but no pressure."
Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," said Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," said Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," said Ron.
"What's that?" said Ron, pointing at a large dish of some sort of shellfish stew that stood beside a large steak-and-kidney pudding.
"Bouillabaisse," said Hermione.
"Bless you," said Ron.
"What's up? If it's massive spiders again I want to eat breakfast before-"
"Accio Brain!"
"From now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'die, Ron, die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong."
"Bless him, and when you think I used to fantasize about cutting off his head and sticking it to the wall!"
"You need your inner eye tested if you ask me."
"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron, bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little Santa Clauses with fishing rods."
"I tell you, that dragon is the most horrible creature I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes about it you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me, he told me off for frightening it. And when I left he was singing it a lullaby."
“And what in the name of Merlin’s most baggy Y Fronts was that about?"
"Yeah, well, Percy wouldn't want to work for anyone with a sense of humor, would he?"
"Tomorrow," said Ron in a muffled voice, "I'd rather you set the alarm clock."
"Er--is this the new stand on elf rights?" said Ron. "You're going to make yourself puke instead?"
"IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU HARRY!"
"You should write a book translating the mad things girls do so boys can understand them."
“That makes me sound a lot cooler than I was."
"I don't need help," Ron whispered. "It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight.
I love you, Hermione."
Hermione frowned at Ron.
"He's not a nutter, Ron--"
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque just like his mother," said Ron irritably. "Is that normal, Hermione?"
"Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts."
"Blimey, Neville, there's a time for getting a smart mouth."
"Well, we were always going to fail that one," said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up and realize he had been describing the examiner's reflection.
"Ron, we're supposed to show the first-years where to go!"
"Oh, yeah," said Ron, who had obviously forgotten. "Hey-hey you lot! Midgets!"
"Ron!"
"Well, they are, they're twitchy...
"Yeah, Dumbledore's off his rocker all right."
"You want to be careful with those," Ron warned Harry. "When they say every flavor, they mean every flavor!"
"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow,
Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow.
"Could've been anything," said Ron. "Maybe he got thirty O.W.L.s or saved a teacher from the giant squid. Maybe he murdered Myrtle; that would've done everyone a favor."
"It's obvious," said Ron. "You can pretend to be waiting for Professor Flitwick, you know." He put on a high voice, "'Oh, Professor Flitwick, I'm so worried, I think I got question fourteen b wrong...'"
"Did I tell you I've invented a broomstick that'll reach Jupiter?"
Hermione: Aren't you two ever going to read Hogwarts: A History?
Ron: What's the point? You know it all by heart, we can just ask you.
"Viktor? Hasn't he asked you to call him Vicky yet?"
"When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?"
"The hats have gone," Hermione said happily. "Seems the house-elves do want freedom after all."
"I wouldn't bet on it," Ron told her cuttingly. "They might not count as clothes. They didn't look anything like hats to me, more like woolly bladders"
"I've got two Neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down on his parchment, "that can't be right, can it?"
"Aaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mysical whisper, "when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry..."
"There you go, Harry," Ron shouted over the noise. "You weren't being thick after all - you were showing moral fiber!"
"A Study of Hogwarts Prefects and Their Later Careers... That sounds fascinating..."
"I want to fix that in my memory forever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."